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about

I recorded this version at the The CELL BLOCK Studio. This is considered to be "Rice Cracker Project" song since that's the group I record our original songs with, but I had free time and decided to record it myself on March 6th and 7th, 2012. I've performed many songs before where I played all the instruments, but this is the first song I recorded in a professional style studio, engineering everything, and performing all the instruments. Now I have an idea of what a writer, producer, and director feels like when making a movie (but on a much smaller scale on my behalf of course.) I wrote this song when my friend and fellow co-worker passed away from a form of brain cancer. I knew her nearly a decade before she left us. I don't usually attend funerals, but I attended hers, and it's the second one I've attended where a co-worker died of cancer. (Just a couple years later, three good friends of mine passed away from cancer and my dad and girlfriend became survivors.) Shortly after the funeral, I wrote this song. I felt I needed to. I made a very cheap demo at home, not wishing to release it for anyone to hear, but more so I wouldn't forget how to play it when I decided to record it for real. I also sang falsetto to try and convey a softer tone in my vocal than I usually do, and it's also something I never tried before, so it was something I wanted to experiment with. I was thinking about the 5 stages of loss and grief, but used the words in the point of view of the person dying. The 5 stages are usually for those who are survived by the passing of a loved one. The song changes flavor from a soft, melodic feel into a hard rock and roll tune. I did this, trying to convey that the person who is suffering from this disease is sad yet happy to have lived a good and loving life, but is also angry that their time is being cut short. I haven't written many personal songs lately, but this one of them. It’s so personal, in fact, that I wanted to record everything on my own, as well as the engineering part of the process, while having no formal training. I'm a musician, singer, songwriter by heart (albeit mostly unknown) but I never imagined I would attempt to record a "real" project on my own. I dedicate this song to Carol, whom this song is directly about, but also to all the people whose life was cut short, and for their loved ones who must continue on.

Recorded at The CELL BLOCK Studio in Auburn, WA.

lyrics

I WISH TO FIND A WAY
TO TELL YOU THAT SOMEDAY,
I MIGHT NOT BE HERE FOR OUR LIFETIME.
I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME
I'VE GOT TO SAY GOODBYE,
BUT I'LL DO MY BEST TO STAY WITH YOU.

THERE'S A LIMIT TO
MY DAYS TO SPEND WITH YOU.
IT'S NOT SO HARD TO BELIEVE.
I CAN FIND NO EASE
TO WHAT'S AILING ME.
I HAVE NO CHOICES BUT TO LEAVE
(SOLO)
I DON'T WANT YOU TO CRY
AS TIME PASSES BY.
PLEASE BELIEVE IT'S NOT MY PLAN.
I TREASURE ALL WE HAD
THE GOOD WITH THE BAD.
ALL I ASK IS YOU UNDERSTAND.

THERE'S A LIMIT TO
MY DAYS TO BE WITH YOU.
I HAVE SUFFERED FOR SO LONG.
IT'S NO SIMPLE FEAT,
YOU MADE MY LIFE COMPLETE,
DON'T FORGET ME WHEN I'M GONE.
(SOLO)

credits

from Sequence, released December 27, 2013
Wayde K. Brown

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The Santairs Auburn, Washington

I am a musician, singer, and songwriter doing this part-time but have been doing it all my life. I started singing before I could talk at the age of one, and wrote my first real song at 15 years of age. (If you count avant-garde as a song, then the age would be 7.) I currently own my own recording studio; and I write, perform, and record my own music (and other's from time to time.) I am Santairs. ... more

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